Hooray...we're back online !

.....after 2 weeks unable to access the internet from home (much to my frustration with the chappies from Sky...grrrrrrr) So it's time for a splurge....the highlights are....

• Reading Half Marathon completed with my mate Giles in a heart-busting (for me) time of 1:40:20. Was very chuffed with that - 5 minutes faster than last year and we kept a steady pace, only stopping for one cup of tea :-). If we do 5 minutes faster each year (and dont stop for tea) we should be on the podium by 2019....


• Wedding plans are advancing well for 18 June - more on that in another blog very soon....but suffice it to say, it will be different, and YOU are invited !


• 2 houses are on the market....


• Cooking ability seems to have stagnated :-(


• Work is....manageable....every once in a while I panic a bit when the pressure is on but thankfully that's not too often. I think I might even be enjoying it (sometimes) and am still doing about 25 hours a week over 4 days.


• Marriage prep starts for Ellie and I on 9th April :-)


• I definitely don't cry as much as I did but can't ever be 'normal' again, that's for sure. Still feel very sad about life's journey in so many ways so often, even though I absolutely treasure my wonderful friendship and love for Ellie :-) (She's so fab !)


• No. 3 has a new 3/4 size cello and has now decided she wants to be the next Jacqueline Du Pre so has started practising like the billio !

It's Mother's Day this weekend - I have a fabulous Mother, a fabulous Mother-in-law, and I'm engaged to another fabulous Mother....but the day will inevitably be totally overshadowed by the one mother who isn't here....(beam me up Scottie)...I don't suppose I can roll up and hide somewhere quiet with my children can I......?

For the last couple of months, my mind has been mulling over a text I received from a dear friend which read something like "I had an impression in my heart of Karena worshipping at God's throne with a big smile on her face, joyful, happy to be home; she wanted you and the children to live life and be happy." Hmmmm...

I'm really comforted that Karena is home safe and sound....we've all still got to make that difficult journey and the timing is totally out of our hands.....everything else in life is just smoke and mirrors by comparison.

Col 1:27....."God has chosen to make known....the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory"

END OF SPLURGE...

18th June is the big day !

Rocks and stuff....

Read these today....
Psalm 95:1 "Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord, let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation"

Heb 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever"

Speaking of rocks.....

A ring made of haribo gold

There once was a lady called Ellie,

She got lunch down the road at the Deli,

But - one day there came change,

And - a life rearrange!

Now her knees wibble-wobble like jelly!

The man, he was fearless and bold,

With a heart full of love and not cold,

He dropped down on one knee,

With a face full of glee.

Gave a ring made of haribo gold!

"I will" came her words in a rush,

He was startled and then turned to mush!

So they rushed to be wed,

(5 mouths still to be fed!),

Now they live in a house in a crush....

The years they passed happy and true,

A love made in heaven that grew,

Getting closer and stronger,

(and ears getting longer)...

then off to the Jesus they knew!

We're engaged !

The good and the bad...

The good....

• Ellie is a total joy to me
• No. 3 has today got her place at Maiden Erlegh school
• I have paid employment...and I've even found myself not analysing life for periods of time which makes a pleasant change :-)
• I am up-to-date with my bible-in-a-year
• I have employed the services of a cleaner - it costs a lot and lasts about a day. Who cares? :-)
• It's no longer February
• Friday's off work...long may it continue !

The not-so-good...

• I find it really hard to concentrate at work
• I still rarely go to bed before midnight...apparrently it's quite common for people like me !
• My training for the Reading Half Marathon (just 19 days away) is practically non-existent !
• My dog has forgotten what exercise is
• Trying to think of what to cook tomorrow (a daily issue !)
• Vodafone :-)
  
  Blessings.....x

Hi hoooooo.....

...it's off to work we go...

On Monday I started back at work at Foster Wheeler (where I used to be) - doing 4 days per week 9am-3pm so that I can still take/pick-up from school.
It's half term this week so I will do it all proper next week !

The strangest thing for me is that it's all the same. That might sound obvious - the work is the same, I go for coffee with the same people I used to, I park in the same place, I look out the window at the same horizon, I walk the same corridors, I do the same job on a similar project to last time....yet inside of me, it feels like the whole world has completely changed. It's very strange !
Tuesday was really hard - work piled on - and I realised that where I used to be able to thrive under some pressure, I really can't do that in the same way now.....to be totally honest I felt quite panicky !
Today has been better as I've reminded myself of Heb 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever".
At least He doesn't change !

Ellie's story....

9th February 2000 was a normal day in the Webster household. Overnight everything changed.

Ellie was awoken just before 1am by the sound of her husband Ben 'choking'. Within half an hour he had died and gone to glory,aged 28. The paramedics could do nothing. Ellie was taken to hospital in a police car. There was no warning and no previous history of serious illness. They were two terms into bible college, pursuing the call of God on their lives. Their son was aged 2 and their daughter was to celebrate her 1st birthday just 12 days later.

Jan 2010 - 10 years later living as a single parent bringing up her two children alone and Ellie was still utterly crushed by the tragedy of that night. She had been a Christian since a very young age and knew that bad things happen - and asking God 'Why?' was a fruitless question - there would be no answer.
Yet in it all she knew too that Jesus was by her side everyday through all the tears, through all the pain & through the long years. He was her strength and comfort through unimaginable grief.

Ellie and Ben had a good marriage, loved each other deeply and expected to live a 'normal' life.

Ellie and I talked first at the "A different journey" bereavement weekend run by Care for The Family. Since June last year we've spent long hours talking most nights, crying, grieving, aching and hurting. We laugh sometimes too!!! In it all has been the unmistakeable presence of the Comforter, the Holy Spirit.
Ellie has been a gift from God to me in my darkest hours, a fabulous companion and somebody who has uniquely 'been there' and knows the gut-wrenching pain.

Ellie has no idea why her husband died, I have no idea why my wife died. But I'm so grateful to this lady who's passion for Jesus is inspirational to me, and who's friendship, care and love has been exceptional through the very toughest of times. I love her very much, she has become my very closest and most special friend.