February 10th and 12th come around with unceasing regularity (once a year, oddly enough!)....we've had a few tears this week. It's now 6 years for me and 16 years for Ellie since our "Great Sadness".
I have recently read a really good book about a man who's mum, wife and young daughter all died in a car crash back in the early 90s called "A Grace Disguised". His insights into the grief journey are incredible as one who has been there and done it (doing it)....it is a bit of a heart rending read at points but really helps as you realise that the emotional trauma you've experienced - and continue to experience - even after years - is actually really very normal !
The book captured me in the opening page with the statement :-
"This book is not intended to help anyone get over or even through the experience of catastrophic loss, for I believe that "recovery" from such loss is an unrealistic and even harmful expectation, if by recovery we mean resuming the way we lived and felt prior to the loss...."
So I feel quite relieved that I have permission to not be 'normal' ever again and it's ok!
As to news...I lost my job at the end of November and am still out of work. Ellie and I have had a lot of quality time together since then just doing simple things like walking the dogs, sharing the housework, and most importantly, just having time to stop and think and review and pray (and drink coffee!). Ellie has recently done a few days of supply teaching - which she really didn't enjoy at all, to be honest. I now have two options in terms of work - which we are thinking and praying about - hopefully we will have a final plan of action in the next week.
That's it for now....