Here is my eulogy to my father-in-law that I spoke at his funeral on Thursday.
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My first real memory of Norman was when I asked him for the
hand of his beloved daughter, Karena, in marriage – I managed to get him alone
in the front room of their house in Badger Drive in December 1992 while Karena
“apprehended” her mother in the kitchen.
Karena and I had only been dating for about 3 months so it was all a bit
fast….Norman’s response to my question was ‘unusual’…..he looked me in the
eyes, looked blank, said nothing, then got up and walked out of the room… ….I
nervously followed….he went to the kitchen and told his wife, Grace, what I had
asked. They quizzed us a bit (it was a
bit fast!!!), and then they opened up some champagne !
Before the wedding day actually came, I got a brief
talking-to/warning from Norman – he took me quietly to one side one day and
basically said to me, “You’d better not mess this up, Sunshine!” Norman was fiercely protective of his family
– his daughters and his grandchildren in particular, and also his wider
family. For his daughters, he had always
delighted in them both and would do literally anything within his power that he
could do for them, he would give them anything he had that they needed, and
Grace had to reign him in a bit with his extravagance sometimes – he loved them
so very much and showed it in many different ways.
I can honestly say that from the moment that I asked him to
marry his daughter, that Norman welcomed me into his family as a son….and in
his thinking I became part of the family and was under his ‘care’ in the same
way as his daughters were. Whilst I
never called him “Dad” to his face, that is what he became to me….somebody who
I could always go to, somebody who I knew would watch my back, someone who I
knew cared for me and for my family, and somebody who would literally give away
anything and everything in order to help me or my children out if I really
needed him to. He consistently
supported us as a family and I know that he prayed for us all daily.
When my beautiful wife Karena died in 2010, Norman’s heart,
like mine, was utterly crushed. He was
never really the same again….but in spite of the very real pain that he
experienced then and with the passing of his own beloved wife last year,
Norman, whilst quiet and broken-hearted,
remained strong in faith, and through tears I know he was confident in the gospel of Jesus - that one day he
would see his wife and daughter again.
On Sept 30th Ellie and I visited Norman in hospital after
his fall. Initially, whilst clearly
unwell from his fall, he was able to speak and before leaving his bedside, I
asked if he would like me to pray for him – his reply was, “Yes please”. They were his last words.
I prayed for him that the “peace of God which surpasses all
understanding would guard his heart and his mind in Christ”, I prayed for God’s
presence to be very real for him there in the hospital bed, I prayed that he
would have confidence that God was with him.
I didn’t actually leave the hospital…from that moment on,
medically Norman’s condition deteriorated, and within a couple of hours he had
died and been welcomed into his eternal home – into the place of great
reunions, into the presence of God, into the presence of Christ, and he had
been reunited with his wife and with his daughter – into the place where there
is no sadness and no tears. This is our
confidence as a family.
2 Tim
4:8 “Now there is in store for me the
crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award me on
that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his
appearing”
So whilst today I have a heavy heart for the loss of
somebody so dearly loved, I also have joy and confidence and hope too, because
Norman was a believer in Christ, and he is now in his eternal home, and for
those of us who are in Christ, we too will see him again one day.
Norman – Dad – we will miss you.
