A spacious place...

So the house moving went logistically very well.... Removals men arrived to pack up house contents last Wednesday and delivered it straight to the new place on the same day, before coming back for the big stuff last Thursday.  Ellie's stuff then arrived out of storage yesterday….we've still got to get stuff out of the self-storage place but we can do that over the next few weeks. 

There were boxes everywhere…but due to some serious focus (on Ellie's part more than anybody else) we've cracked the back of it.  The children all did their own rooms which helped.  I'll spare you the details of the acres of dust and miscellaneous items discovered on the carpet of the house we left after everything was moved out !  Thankfully I had time to give the place a pretty good clean though.

We all returned to the old house on Thursday evening before going out to dinner to celebrate our house move….emotionally it was a strange one to be back in the empty carcus of a house which held so many memories….but I did hold it together (just about!)…we need to move forward as a family.  

Yesterday evening we had our first evening visitors in our new house…it was fabulous to be able to sit in a living room that we weren't going to convert into a bedroom the moment they had gone !

We feel totally spoiled by the whole house thing to be honest - the house is rented of course…but compared to the fairly cramped living conditions we've all been in for the last year, we have oooodles of space!!  

Two years ago when Ellie was being prayed for by a lady at a church she was visiting, the lady read a scripture over Ellie which she felt was a prompting from God - from Psalm18:19, "(The Lord) brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because He delighted in me"  

Prophetic words fulfilled….we're so grateful !!!

And so the clock ticks...

Time is a strange thing…right now we're waiting to move house and each day it feels like the moving day is never really going to actually arrive….but it will arrive, of course.
Last year on the run-up to our wedding, the experience was similar.
And then there was three years ago and the journey I'd rather not think about but which sits in my mind unchanging and torments me so often....

 .…tick tock….
We've agreed to rent the house we're moving to from 1st August (not quite signed on the dotted line yet tho) and will actually move in on 2nd Aug with our house sale completing on 3rd Aug, and all Ellie's stuff from storage being delivered on 3rd Aug too hopefully.

It will be a weird experience - I know that selling our house is only "bricks and mortar" but there are 11 years of memories wrapped up in the house move, many happy ones, some sad ones and some utterly hideous ones.

I've no idea what emotional state I will be in on the day we actually move out and can't really hope to predict it.  At the moment, I think I'll feel more relieved than anything but who knows ?!  We both feel fairly relaxed about the build-up to it (so far!).
We've booked the removal men to come and do a "full pack" so they will wrap, pack and move everything - so we just need to sit back and watch (Theory A). In fact on the 1st Aug when they come to pack I'm planning on going to work like normal for a half-day just to try and maintain my sanity :-)
Right now though we're busy either throwing things away or giving them away on freecycle. Anyone for a set of drain rods or a selection of old mobile phone chargers ?!?!

Time keeps marching on…

Ecclesiastes 3:1-7...

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away, :-)
     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak.....
     

Roll on 1st August !...

Moving forward...

Well we exchanged contracts on our house on Tuesday 10th July !  Good news !
It was an emotional day as it would have been my 19th wedding anniversary…to be honest I was on the edge of the precipice for most of the day so when the phone call from the conveyencer confirmed that we'd exchanged contracts I toppled off the edge somewhat !  Put it this way… I left work early !!  

It's good though….we do need to move house!!  We haven't yet formally signed up for a house rental to move to but have verbally agreed to rent the house that we were originally going to buy subject to paperwork being sorted out (quickly!). 

We will be completing on our house sale and moving out on Fri 3rd August.   It'll be another roller-coaster-of-a-day I'm sure, but it is time to move forward….  

Phil 3:13-14 (The Message)   Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward - to Jesus.  I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

Befriending, Bereavement and Bicycling

Long time, no blog....
Well this is a photo of the new rocket-bike....I've been promising myself a new bike for about 3 years and Ellie finally convinced me to go and buy it (for my birthday!)...it's very light which makes up for the fact that I'm a bit lardy :-)




So what's been happening?
Firstly despite multiple attempts at exchanging contracts on our house sale, it's still not happened - every day last week it was "going to happen tomorrow". It's been a comedy of errors really...and continues to be! To be honest I've been up and down in terms of peace in it all but seem to have finally given in and accepted that it'll happen if it happens (probably tomorrow!!) As it is we still haven't agreed a house rental anyway so could be homeless in a month !!

Two weekends ago we went along to the Care for the Family Volunteers day away...it was really good; as a charity they do fabulous work up and down the country with families. On the Sunday I was asked to speak to the Widowed Young Befrienders team which was a huge privilege and very emotional (It wouldn't be the same if I didn't cry when I speak !!). I spoke on being in a storm and Jesus walking to us on the water.

On Saturday just gone I went along to the Widowed Young bereavement weekend. Primarily I went along to see my befriendee who I've been talking to now once a week for the last few months.  Everybody there had a tale of sadness and pain. It's good to able to talk to people about their journey's and maybe provide some comfort in the midst of it...and certainly some understanding of their pain.

Tomorrow would have been my 19th wedding anniversary.

This morning, Ellie read this in her Amy Carmichael book :-

"This morning I was thinking of life as a voyage with no promise of calm seas. Then I came upon this in Psalm 89:9:'When the waves...arise, You still them'. No waves that ever were or shall be can overwhelm us, if only we trust these words."

Wedding anniversary

So yesterday was our very 1st wedding anniversary. 
It seems slightly strange at our age to be celebrating just a year of marriage but it's absolutely brilliant !  
 For our anniversary, Ellie got a pretty new ring, I got a beautiful wedding photo collage (photo of it here), and to top off the day I managed to keep a secret - a surprise evening of pampering at Nirvana Spa for us both.  It was soooo relaxing (and very quiet) !  
Neither of us can really believe that a year has passed since our wedding day.  The year has been filled with activity and busyness, some tears, some pain, some laughter, some memories, and a huge amount of change for everybody.  But, by the grace of God, we have come through it all…and a new unique family identity is definitely being established…slowly but surely. 

After one year Ellie and I are still sleeping in the lounge (we've progressed from the sofa-bed to the floor now !!) but we will be getting a bedroom soon as we have now agreed a house rental nearby starting from mid-July.  

At the end of our first year of marriage, we are grateful for : -  

- Our God - who never leaves us nor forsakes us
- One another - we treasure being together !
- Our 5 delightful children
- Silliness - there's a lot of it !
- Friends
- People who have faithfully prayed for us over years and who continue to do so on this journey that we are now on together
Plus :-
 - Me - My bike, and doing lots of miles through the berkshire/hampshire countryside
 - Ellie - Sam the dog...and their walks together.

Birthday !

Sunday was Ellie's birthday. It was great!
I had taken the children shopping last week and we'd all bought presents which they'd all then wrapped (with varying measures of success!!). Ellie had her presents in bed (aka: on the sofa!) with a cup of tea. I then did a special birthday breakfast, we all went to church, then we had a special birthday dinner, the girls made a special heron birthday cake and we then had a special birthday tea for a very special lady!!
Ellie got to relax through the whole day.

It's the first time for 13 years that Ellie hasn't needed to do any planning on behalf of her children in order to make the day special…. in past years her children have wanted to make the day special but, of course, they needed help to do so….this year, it was my privilege to lead our combined child flock through the planning and execution !
She had a lovely day and felt very spoilt. Ha !

A week or so after Ellie and I first spoke on the Care For The Family Widowed Young Support Weekend in June 2010, she phoned me just after I'd come back from food shopping at Asda (I'd been crying all the way around the shop!!)... It was a phone call that was to change both of our lives and the lives of our five children….these last few days I've been thanking God (through tears for a change!) for this beautiful woman, an outstanding mum and step-mum, whose faith is so inspiring to me. I also keep thanking Ellie for making that phone call!! The thing that most inspired me about this wonderful lady when we first spoke is that, at no point, did I ever detect any hint of bitterness despite the hideous pain of her journey…only brokenness.

 Looking forward to many more birthdays together!

Step-parenting....

16 years ago today I became a Father for the very first time.

It was a day that was to change my life forever.  My beautiful daughter was born weighing 7lbs 14.5ozs just 5 minutes into the day that she was due on [at this point I could make a cheap joke that it's the only time she's ever been on time for anything-but obviously I wouldn't be tempted to do that :-) ]
16 years later and I now have 5 children in our unique family.  I love them all to bits, and so does Ellie !!

I'm a dad and I'm a step-dad.
Ellie is a mum and she is a step-mum.

The word "step" comes from the old English word "steop" which literally means "loss".  There are many people in step-families up and down the country of course - we are not that unusual.  However in our situation the loss isn't caused by divorce, betrayal or any personal choice, it's caused by the death of a loved one.

The most encouraging thing I know is that God's family is a step-family too.  His family is made up of a jumble of different people from different backgrounds and experiences, uniting around their love for Jesus and for each other.  God's family also represents the creation of something new out of the brokenness and loss of the past.  It's a fabulous inspiration for our family!

This past year has been a huge learning experience, and has had many challenges, many tears, some failings and some great triumphs too.  Sometimes as parents we've felt like we're treading on egg shells and much of the time life has felt overwhelmingly draining emotionally....but slowly and surely we are evolving a unique family identity that is a privilege to both Ellie and I; shepherding the hearts of five delightful and precious children into adulthood.