Tuesday, 28 February 2012

What a Wally !

When Karena and I met, she had a horse called "Wally"…this is a photo of him. His proper name was "Woodland Bay Walter". He was a great brute of an animal…very strong and stocky, he measured 15-2 hands (that's about as knowledgable as I get about horses), and he had a very funny (and grumpy) character!

When we were first married (1993) Karena would often ride him out before work and I'd go with her ridiculously early in the morning (getting up at 5:30  ish).  I'd walk alongside her with  the stable's Alsatian dog.  Often at that time of the morning you'd see the sun rise over the horizon and see deer in the woods and all sorts of other wildlife…it was very quiet and absolutely beautiful (once I'd gotten over the shock and grumpiness of getting out of bed so early!) 

Unfortunately we had to say goodbye to Wally shortly after our first daughter was born because we couldn't afford to keep him…Karena (thankfully) wanted to stay home with her newborn daughter rather than have to go back to work in order to pay to keep him (it's VERY expensive!)   One of the things that was funny about Wally's character was that he knew all the routes that Karena would ride him on….and whenever he passed the halfway point and turned for home, his pace always noticeably sped up…sometimes he'd start trotting even tho he hadn't been asked to do so.  The reason for his abrupt change of pace was that back at the stables he knew breakfast was waiting !  

I am training (in a manner of speaking!) for the Reading Half Marathon (1st April), and was out doing a training run tonight….most of the time I'm not too bothered about my speed, but as I turned for home, like Wally, my pace noticeably increased …and as I did so I immediately thought back to "Wally" days as I ran…it made me smile and also feel sad at the same time.    

There's no telling when memories will assault you…every day in a myriad of ways, you get hit by them…the good ones are all tinged with sadness and pain of course.  I try to not let them drag me down; sometimes I fail dismally, sometimes I don't.   
Sometimes I wonder if people expect me to have "moved on", particularly since being married to the delightful Ellie, but in truth, you don't really move on from the hideous loss of bereavement…you just let it become a part of who you are, and your life continues in spite of the pain/heartache....and on days like today I go "down the pan".

Anyway, if you want to call me a Wally, please feel free to… cuz I am quite like him sometimes !

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