The mask

Sometime ago, I blogged about how on this grief journey, there is pain and angst just bubbling away beneath the surface, ready to totally erupt and overwhelm at a moment's notice….it hasn't changed, and to be honest I'm not sure that it's ever likely to.

 

The whole world changed for both Ellie and I when those that we loved (and the parents of our children) died, so why would either of us expect to ever return to any kind of 'normal' ?

 

Looking in the mirror though I realise I must seem fairly normal to onlookers (as 'normal' as I ever have been that is!), and it's only me that really realises the turmoil that can be behind the smile that I purpose to pull so often. 
Whether we like it or not though both Ellie and I wear a mask a lot of the time…a mask of 'normality', of 'coping'…but behind it we are never very far from the precipice of huge emotional pain….as we both got reminded of in different ways over these last few days (I'll spare you the details!)

 

However, for both Ellie and I, now doing our grief journeys together (and absolutely delighting in being together), we have an increasing sense that God has plans for us to be a part of binding up other people's broken hearts, and comforting others who mourn…..and helping others take off their masks too…

 

For us, the answer lies in what direction we're looking in….if we look backwards from behind our masks, there's just pain and heartache.  If we just look forwards it all can seem so daunting (but with some glimmers of hope of course), but when we stop for a moment, are honest with ourselves, remove the masks we wear…and then gaze upwards into the eye's of Jesus there's simply everything that we can possibly need….love, comfort, strength, compassion, confidence, hope, purpose and a future too. 

 

And so we will leave the last words of this blog to our master who delights in helping us take off our masks and meeting our real needs….

 

Isaiah 61:1-3ff (Luke 4:17-21)
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour….to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve….to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.   They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour…..