Dispelling the myths #2

Loving and grieving.....

One of the weirdest parts of the journey for me in the last 8 months has been the side-by-side experiences of loving and grieving at the same time....

Initially, I felt a lot of confusion and no small amount of guilt as Ellie and I grew closer in our friendship and closer emotionally - through shared pain and shared experiences. Memorably I recall telling her some months ago that I felt like I was holding the wrong person's hands. In one way, of course, I was....and she was too - she should be holding Ben's hand and I should be holding Karena's hand - but of course that's just not the way that it is.

Elisabeth Elliott, who's husband Jim was murdered in 1956, has written several books. One of them was called Through Gates of Splendour (which is the title of my blog posting from 12 Feb 2010). In The Path of Loneliness (cheery title !) she also wrote that accepting what is offered helps you to come out of "the howling wilderness of misery to find peace".

So today it would have been Ben Webster's 40th birthday....so Ellie and I will love and grieve together....