Sunday, 10 April 2011

Dispelling the myths #1

Myth #1...."Getting over it...."

When talking about grief recently, Ellie was asked a question about her journey 11 years down the line, "Aren't you over it now?" Both of us laughed at the question....the person asking the question did so in all seriousness with a good heart, and really didn't realise why we'd laughed.....

The Truth is, you don't ever "get over it." Ben was too big a part of Ellie's life for her to ever get over him, he was and always will be the father of her children, and he was a formative part of her character and all that she is....similarly for Karena and me.

Life has changed forever.

You just don't get over it...

The two bereavement courses I've been on both talked about learning to deal with grief. The best analogy I've heard is a squash ball and a glass. The ball being symbolic of your grief, and the glass being symbolic of your life. To start with, the ball totally fills the glass (ie. it's like a 'shot' glass), but as you deal with grief over time the glass expands around the ball - the ball is still there very much in evidence but it doesn't fill the glass anymore (ie. it's like a pint glass)....but most notable in the analogy is that the squash ball (grief) DOESN'T actually get any just expands around it.

So I totally crashed and burned emotionally at church this morning responding to a prophetic word about loss/bereavement from the visiting speaker's wife....God is with us in our journeys, knows our pain and weeps with us.

It's just the way it is......

More dispelling myths another time.


  1. I think you're absolutely right. And here is where the Gospel comes into its own. What do we do in the face of tragedy and calamity? What is my response? We embrace the Cross and the suffering and because of that and only because of that, we can endure, knowing that a crown of righteousness awaits us. I love knowing Christ 'in' it (the suffering) because only He has overcome it and therefore I have too. Rock n' roll! Take care of yourselves. love Ros x

  2. Wow soooooo with you in this and you both are being a beacon in this time whether its what you wanted or not xxxxx