Aaaah…where to start…?? Monday was not a good day.
If only I could explain in words the gut-wrenching magnitude of the emotional angst that I sometimes feel. This time it was all set off by a very dear family member who was struggling with the journey that we are all on….and so, off the precipice I dropped too…..and boy did I drop !!
Sometimes I genuinly wonder whether I am going to end up in a mad house….yesterday tho I ended up in tears in front of my boss at work….he thought he'd done something to upset me (he hadn't)….as a temporary Contractor, crying in front of your boss probably isn't the best way to make them want to keep you…..but that's neither here nor there really I suppose….
Certainly the idea of some drugs to help the mood swings seems like quite a possibility….hmmmm
Today I awoke with (some of) the words of John Newton's classic ringing in my ears……
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home.
When we've been there 10,000 years,
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we first began…..
I'm so glad that Jesus isn't gonna let go of me, no matter what…cuz when I'm dangling on the edge of the precipice it's only Him that really keeps me from falling even tho it's Ellie's arms that hold me tight….
In truth, I'm really looking forward to the day of no more pain, no more sorrow, and no more tears….until then tho I'll just keep riding my bicycle…so I'm gonna buy a brand new one….and will call it therapy :-)