Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Another day in the office....

Aaaah…where to start…?? Monday was not a good day.
If only I could explain in words the gut-wrenching magnitude of the emotional angst that I sometimes feel. This time it was all set off by a very dear family member who was struggling with the journey that we are all on….and so, off the precipice I dropped too…..and boy did I drop !!

Sometimes I genuinly wonder whether I am going to end up in a mad house….yesterday tho I ended up in tears in front of my boss at work….he thought he'd done something to upset me (he hadn't)….as a temporary Contractor, crying in front of your boss probably isn't the best way to make them want to keep you…..but that's neither here nor there really I suppose….
Certainly the idea of some drugs to help the mood swings seems like quite a possibility….hmmmm

Today I awoke with (some of) the words of John Newton's classic ringing in my ears……

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home.

When we've been there 10,000 years,
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we first began…..

I'm so glad that Jesus isn't gonna let go of me, no matter what…cuz when I'm dangling on the edge of the precipice it's only Him that really keeps me from falling even tho it's Ellie's arms that hold me tight….
In truth, I'm really looking forward to the day of no more pain, no more sorrow, and no more tears….until then tho I'll just keep riding my bicycle…so I'm gonna buy a brand new one….and will call it therapy :-)


  1. I've been on tablets for 2 months - they've certainly helped my mood swings and I haven't had as many dark days.
    I was reminded of the verses I posted on my blog the other week.

    You let me stand on a rock
    With my feet firm
    And you gave me a new song
    A song of praise to you.
    Many will see this,
    And they will honour
    And trust you, the Lord God.

    Psalm 40 verses 2 and 3

    You are standing on a firm foundation even when the world feels like it's tilting and you are going to slip off.
    You and Ellie and the kids are a "new song", your blog is full of praise and honour to God and He will NEVER let you fall!

  2. A friend of mine gave me a very good teaching about peace. It helps me a lot. If you would like to listen I can lend it to you.

  3. I didn't get where I am today by giving silly names to my bicycles!
    Thinking about you all the time dear bro.
    Hang in there.