I was asked today whether I'd had a "Rubbish-Rubbish day" or a "Rubbish-Good day". It kind of sums things up really - every day seems pretty rubbish and my emotions continue to get the better of me when I least expect it.
Yesterday I had a lovely man come and clean our house carpets (1st time for 9 years!!)...when he arrived I was making some soup, and when he asked me if I was the cook in the house I just welled up with tears....here we go again !! That was the start of another Rubbish-Rubbish day....lots of tears - I just miss Karena loads and can't quite get my head around the fact that I won't see her again this side of eternity.
But today was another day and I went out for a long bike ride this morning, and then watched No.3 playing a netball tournament in the rain - and after about 8 matches and getting completely sodden, her team eventually won the tournament. Seeing the look on her face (she actually scored the winning goal but it was definitely a team-win!) was all I needed to make the day special. If Karena was there she'd have been jumping up and down and shouting at the top of her voice, but of course she wasn't there (rubbish!). Then we also had No. 3's play performance at school tonight which was absolutely fabulous. Karena would have loved it but of course she wasn't there (rubbish!)....so all-in-all today has been a Rubbish-Good day!
The only Good-Good thing that keeps going through my mind is that.... "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever" (Heb 13:8). At least that's not going to change, irrespective of whether tomorrow is Rubbish-Rubbish or Rubbish-Good.