Karena has now lapsed into unconsciousness....but we are told that she can still hear us so we have been chatting to her and reminiscing at her bedside over some of the crazy things we have done as a family. There's been some tears but also some laughter at some of the things we have recalled.
It's very peaceful beside her; and I can only conclude that the Lord has her cradled in His arms, ready to take her home.
We have all said goodbye, and told her that she is free to go with our blessing as soon as it's time.
The Lord will call her home quite soon now.
In the meantime it's sleepover night again so the DVD is on and the sleeping bags are out.....
Psalm 62:1-2
My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation
He is my fortress, I shall never be shaken
Sunday, 7 February 2010
Friday, 5 February 2010
Scared about today ?
No, I don't think so......
Luke 24:1-6 "On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen!....."
1Cor15:54-55 "...Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where o death is your victory? Where o death is your sting?"
Phil 1:21 "For me, to live is Christ, to die is gain"
Deut 33:27 "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.."
Karena's condition is worsening day-by-day. Her breathing through the night seemed really very shallow (I didn't sleep very well !!). Had another jolly good cry this morning.
It won't be long now before she meets Jesus face-to-face. Knowing Karena, my guess is that she will run into his arms at full speed......
Luke 24:1-6 "On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen!....."
1Cor15:54-55 "...Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where o death is your victory? Where o death is your sting?"
Phil 1:21 "For me, to live is Christ, to die is gain"
Deut 33:27 "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.."
Karena's condition is worsening day-by-day. Her breathing through the night seemed really very shallow (I didn't sleep very well !!). Had another jolly good cry this morning.
It won't be long now before she meets Jesus face-to-face. Knowing Karena, my guess is that she will run into his arms at full speed......
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
A change for the worse.....
Well, not sure what to write really.....whenever you think it's bad, it gets worse !
Yesterday Karena had some energy and was on form for at least a few hours in the day, and she slept really well last night. Today however she has had very little energy and has been sleeping for 80%+ of the time. It seems like a sudden drop in energy levels just within a day. It's very tough even though the medics told us this would happen! So whilst the children saw her after school and all evening, she didn't have a lot of beans to be able to interract much with them.
Appreciating your ongoing prayers for Karena...today seems like another step change for the worse.
Yesterday Karena had some energy and was on form for at least a few hours in the day, and she slept really well last night. Today however she has had very little energy and has been sleeping for 80%+ of the time. It seems like a sudden drop in energy levels just within a day. It's very tough even though the medics told us this would happen! So whilst the children saw her after school and all evening, she didn't have a lot of beans to be able to interract much with them.
Appreciating your ongoing prayers for Karena...today seems like another step change for the worse.
Monday, 1 February 2010
Quick update....
Karena continues to deteriorate medically. She is again weaker and sleeping a lot more. Today she has slept most of the day, only waking for her shower and for a half hour or so (until 5pm that is - hopefully this evening she will have some more beans). This is how the doctors are expecting that she will finish her days - just drifting off quietly into increasing sleep until she breathes her last breath....
....on the other side of the coin tho.....
Karena continues to improve spiritually. She is stronger in her faith & confidence, and has increasing expectation of the future as her earthly days draw to an end. After her last breath she will step into the presence of the Lord of Glory and will be transformed for ever.
Last night at about 10pm, we were serenaded (just the two of us) by a great family friend with his guitar - we listened to some and sang along to some - "O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder...Then sings my soul my saviour God to thee.....how great thou art...." was one classic which we sang together. It was very special, if not somewhat tear laden at times !
Tonight - guess what??? - Yes, it's sleepover time (again).....this time the children are bringing their duvets as the camp beds are apparrently not comfortable enough so they need extra cushioning. Very soon, most of our posessions will be in the hospice !
Stuff I'm grateful for today -
....on the other side of the coin tho.....
Karena continues to improve spiritually. She is stronger in her faith & confidence, and has increasing expectation of the future as her earthly days draw to an end. After her last breath she will step into the presence of the Lord of Glory and will be transformed for ever.
Last night at about 10pm, we were serenaded (just the two of us) by a great family friend with his guitar - we listened to some and sang along to some - "O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder...Then sings my soul my saviour God to thee.....how great thou art...." was one classic which we sang together. It was very special, if not somewhat tear laden at times !
Tonight - guess what??? - Yes, it's sleepover time (again).....this time the children are bringing their duvets as the camp beds are apparrently not comfortable enough so they need extra cushioning. Very soon, most of our posessions will be in the hospice !
Stuff I'm grateful for today -
- My wife who continues to be a source of inspiration to me (I am still finding new things out about her !)
- Precious family moments
- The privilege of walking side by side with my wife en route to the gates of glory
- Friends and family who are by our side
- The care that Karena has experienced at Duchess of Kent hospice which is exceptional
- Chocolate
- Peace for our entire family and an ongoing sense of being carried by God through the toughest of circumstances
- Continued expectation to grow in Karena's heart of meeting the Lord face-to-face
- Karena to continue to be pain-free
Friday, 29 January 2010
Another family adventure...
Yesterday night was sleepover night...so we all pitched up at the hospice with sleeping bags and camp beds for a family dvd with an absolutely gigantic bar of chocolate (thanks Jo !). We watched 'Bedtime Stories' which was very funny...a great family movie ! It was a late night though - the children all noticing every noise in the place until very late....
This afternoon we had a family bible study on heaven which was magnificent. Jesus has made the way possible, Karena will see him very soon. At the end our bible study, Karena gave a little "yippee" at the prospect of arriving at her final destination. She is full of faith and anticipation.
This last week couple of weeks has taught me a very valuable life lesson....10 days ago we were told that Karena would "probably live 3-10 days". It's day 10 and she's still going. The truth is simply that the God who spoke a word to bring the world into being, is the same God who ordained Karena's birth, and He's the same God who will say the word to call her to her permanent home...and until He does so, she will still be here. I really value the medical staff who have been absolutely brilliant but Karena's life isn't actually in their hands, it's in the hands of her Lord, and He hasn't called "Time" just yet....
Yesterday Karena said she misses stroking Tom (one of our cats)... so tonight he's coming in to see her too !!! Should be fun, or perhaps just chaos !
This afternoon we had a family bible study on heaven which was magnificent. Jesus has made the way possible, Karena will see him very soon. At the end our bible study, Karena gave a little "yippee" at the prospect of arriving at her final destination. She is full of faith and anticipation.
This last week couple of weeks has taught me a very valuable life lesson....10 days ago we were told that Karena would "probably live 3-10 days". It's day 10 and she's still going. The truth is simply that the God who spoke a word to bring the world into being, is the same God who ordained Karena's birth, and He's the same God who will say the word to call her to her permanent home...and until He does so, she will still be here. I really value the medical staff who have been absolutely brilliant but Karena's life isn't actually in their hands, it's in the hands of her Lord, and He hasn't called "Time" just yet....
Yesterday Karena said she misses stroking Tom (one of our cats)... so tonight he's coming in to see her too !!! Should be fun, or perhaps just chaos !
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
A glass of wine....
Yesterday, the consultant told us that Karena may now have another week to live. But she continues to weaken and get more tired each day a little at a time. I can't see a lot of good to be found in the process of dying...watching my wife take steps closer and closer to it each day feels pretty awful. But there are still enjoyable moments in each day - Today we had a glass of wine together....Karena had to have hers through a straw but we toasted "Family Mackay", and we also managed to watch part of a film and do some story book together. That was good.
God is holding Karena in the palm of His hand. She has such a great reward at the end of this - it'll be mega for her, and we'll be heart broken, but will take great comfort from knowing where she is....and one day we will see her again.
In my Bear Grylls book today, I read this "Always hold hands with those you love whenever you have the chance". Sounds like very good advice to me - so I'm going to go and do that now....
God is holding Karena in the palm of His hand. She has such a great reward at the end of this - it'll be mega for her, and we'll be heart broken, but will take great comfort from knowing where she is....and one day we will see her again.
In my Bear Grylls book today, I read this "Always hold hands with those you love whenever you have the chance". Sounds like very good advice to me - so I'm going to go and do that now....
Monday, 25 January 2010
A family adventure....
Saturday night was movie night...we all stayed at the hospice for a sleepover with sleeping bags and did a family dvd (I forgot the popcorn though!). Thankfully we have now moved back to the family room so there was enough room for us all to stay. The film was complete rubbish - I'm the only person who seemed to think that, although Karena would have agreed I think if she didn't sleep through the whole thing !
The hospice staff are fantastic and brought us all breakfast on Sunday morning.
Karena's condition has definitely worsened and she is considerably weaker. Her painkillers have increased so she is more sleepy and can slur her words some of the time.
On Sunday, she was marginally improved and more compus mentus. Sunday evening was totally spectacular - Karena praying for each of our children in turn, asking God's blessing for them, and speaking into their lives for their future in her final days. For a half hour I almost forgot she was quite so ill - she was like spiritual dynamite (that's my girl !!)
After getting the children home to bed, I returned at the end of the evening and held onto her hand through the night. I intend to escort this woman of God to the gates of glory, as best as I am able.
Deut 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged"
The hospice staff are fantastic and brought us all breakfast on Sunday morning.
Karena's condition has definitely worsened and she is considerably weaker. Her painkillers have increased so she is more sleepy and can slur her words some of the time.
On Sunday, she was marginally improved and more compus mentus. Sunday evening was totally spectacular - Karena praying for each of our children in turn, asking God's blessing for them, and speaking into their lives for their future in her final days. For a half hour I almost forgot she was quite so ill - she was like spiritual dynamite (that's my girl !!)
After getting the children home to bed, I returned at the end of the evening and held onto her hand through the night. I intend to escort this woman of God to the gates of glory, as best as I am able.
Deut 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged"
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